Sound Bytes

I adore Ravi Zacharias.

Incredible

I haven't written anything incredibly unreadably rant like lately...

perhaps I'll wait until I'm a little more lucidly lucid.

lol

I'm funny

and

tiered

yeah

The Nightmare Before Christmas - Christopher Lee

Merry Christmas!

...better late than never. :P

LOTR

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost.
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring.
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

ADPi

Psalm 15
A psalm of David.
1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.

Oh NOES!!!

THEY'VE GOT THE HOBBITS!!!

Whoa

Can I be like this dude when I grow up.

Seriously, he has the bow and arrow and sword. It's awesome!!!

Erg

It's articles like this one, that makes me nervous about the whole venture which is my LIFE.

Or makes me cringe at the thought of upcoming rejection notices.

Pledge

I pledge allegiance to Narnia.

Tolkien

This guy has some very interesting things to say about the balance of characters in LOTR.

Something ideas that I must keep in the back of my head for my universe.

Of course I've only been developing my universe for 9 years. Tolkien had much much more time, education, and experience to draw from. This thought has often kept me from writing any of my sagas. And is also why I am so glad that Mercator came to me.

Which also brings me to a problem that I have with much of the Fantasy that is out there. It all seems so derivative. Like they are just tweaking other people's ideas and creativity to be something they can claim as their own, but most of what I've read is boring, mostly because it lacks the historicity that I crave in fantasy. Even the books that present wholly new types of magic and society seem a bit cardboard thin. One culture may be incredibly detailed, but only on the surface. I seldom feel that the characters are anything more than characters fulfilling a barely fleshed out role. Of course there are the exceptions, but too few. I run out of books I am interested in.

Of course as a writer, I am afraid that I will fall into these pits too.

Wonderfully funny

The Wrong Guy to Send On a Beer Run -- powered by Cracked.com

What sold me was the FIF song at the very end...

Feeling Festive

Song


more animals

So the first one really doesn't have anything to do with...anything.

But, hey, get this. Coming soon to a website near you The Rock Wanderer- Urban Geologist. Where I look at walls and cabinets and then try to figure out what kind of rock it is. A podcast!

Education

Proof that we're all getting dumber...

Or is it that education sucks?

Or perhaps that Kansans are smarter than everyone thinks?

All power to the one room schoolhouses in the middle of the prairie. My mom went to one. :)

EVERY Kanye Sample EVER

Dude, eat your greens

Stupid

Left Disney at 5pm.

Took a stupid route that makes no sense at all.

2 hrs before I got home.

Then straight to the Baronial meeting.

Just now getting home.

Long mostly awesome day.

:)

Oh, and I unpacked the Goofy mug first without having to unwrap the freakish amount of unwrapping that the dude put around my other two cups.

Jail Break

I think this is how Mercator feels.

lol

Mario Kart Love Song (Original)

Sweet Child of Mine .... Sitar Version

Remember that game?

Hey Molls, you remember this game?

Twilight | Spill.com Movie Reviews

o.o

I think it's a SIGN!!!!!

Atlas of True Names

Just too cool not to post.

Mayan Cycle

Here's a super sweet depiction of the Mayan cycle system.

Travel

Good.

Edits

Near real time Wikipedia edit map.

INFP

Forever I thought I was an INTJ, and that was the answer I've consistently gotten on Jungian tests.

But a couple of weeks ago I realized that I've really developed more into an INFP. I was on the borderline anyway. It just seems to fit better. I've always been a master of deluding myself in to thinking I should be a certain way. I just wonder which way it is?

How about some fun?

New talent on 60 minutes.

Tom Hanks take off!

I actually DO want to make a movie out of this concept. Think Galaxy Quest meets Back to the Future.

The most annoying bobble head evar?

How about a little Cosby Bebop.

Why Sam I love Po-ta-toes too!

??? Nothing to say about this.


Ok I'm done.

inappropriate but awesome

'nuf said

Bound

I feel all bound up.

I NEED to make some progress. And I have, it's just that I need to do some leaping.

Mercator NEEDS to get out.

Now.

me me me blah blah blah...Hey look! A kitty!

more animals

I want one.

Temper

I would venture to say that for the most part I am an even tempered sort of person.

But there are a few subjects that when broached just about always send me perilously close to a violent rage no matter how much I try to suppress it.

Usually it has to do with taunting me on a subject that I hold close to my heart. Probably because I am defensive by nature, though I wish I weren't, when someone refuses to hear my side of the argument and then taunts me I just about lose it.

I've gotten better over the years. And anymore my rage subsides quickly and the subject is approachable and I usually want to make amends.

It's one of the reasons I cannot and do not watch sports. I get too riled up about it. Most of the time I really try not to care, it just hurts too much to care about a team that is going to disappoint you. And they ALWAYS do. At least if you're from KC.

Playing sports I have no problem with this.

Which is backwards.

Anyway. Enough rambling.

I'll still never live in Kansas. NEVER. Not even if you gave me a free house.

Loathing

I think I hate Kansas more than I hate just about anything else in the world. Ever.


Sorry Amy.

Internet Hate Machine

The internet generates more blind hatred that just about anything else.

Conversations aren't held on the internet, it's either all praise for something that may or may not be that great. Or people spewing hatred either at each other or at something that really doesn't affect (?) them in the least.

It happens with elections, books, carpet, anything.

I know that I'm just as guilty as the rest but I still get pissed off when I read shit like this. Which happens to be about Twilight.

Mostly guys.

Duh.

And I'm not saying that all women HAVE to like Twilight, but it is so specifically tuned to every middle of the road woman's fantasy that, if they're the least bit susceptible, they're going to not be able to put the series away and more than likely fall in love with Edward Cullen.

So it gets popular.

So what?

The DaVinci Code got popular and it was about as well written as dog shit. And I've railed against that too, but I understand why it kinda worked.

Now the Twilight movie.

It sucked?

Did it?

No. It isn't any Crystal Skull or DaVinci Code.

I thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought they did a very good job capturing the feel of the story for me. It was relatively low budget, and I thought that the way they did things, although to a lower bar than most "fantasy" movies, really worked. They could have improved the special effects. And once in a while I was somewhat distracted by the less than uber polished way that the vampires moved at high speeds. With that sort of budget you can't expect Matrix level work.

As for the acting. Not superb, but good. The awkwardness was perfect. I only cringed a couple of times.

What I think it comes down to is how far you have your head up your ass going into the movie. If you're thinking its going to be some sort of girly stupid vampire mushy romance and you think that's stupid. Well, No of course you aren't going to like the movie or the books. But if you like that sort of thing it really does well. Much better than I ever expected from either the posters or the trailers.

I liked it.

If you didn't I don't give a fuck.

And of course they're going to make the sequels. Hollywood only cares about the money, and this series is going to make a mint. No Harry Potter, but its better than Ice Age or Land Before Time MMXI.

And any girl who thinks they're above Twilight...hahahahahahahhahahaha! I'm so sorry for your cold existance. I'd much rather fall into that starry-eyed I-wish-my-Edward-would-come state than not feel at all. I'd rather have my heart hurt once in a while than forget that it's there, at least I still know that I'm alive. And I'm about as independent/self sufficient (as long as we're not talking about money) as they come.

comedy

I've been watching some comedians lately, both on Comedy Central and the web.

Seriously? That's supposed to be funny? Seriously?

I can do that. And guess what. It might actually be funny.

I do love Mitch Hedberg though. He's right up my alley.

I want to fly one

A hairless rabbit panther!

?

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

:)

Twilight was...o.O

what?! sorry got distracted by....o.O

hmmm...

:)

Is it even possible for guys to understand why Twilight is soo... o.O?

Bad Idea

Going to go see Twilight.

I actually had a fucking dream about it last night. I don't know why, I haven't been planning on seeing it or thinking about the movie at all!

I'm going to be wrecked for the rest of the day...

damn you Edward!

Free Pepper!!!

Get sum!!!

Now this is my kind of free give away!

:)

!!!!!

Got it

Some people just seem to have this thing that makes people like them.

Charisma. Some people just have it.

But you can get it if you want it.

I've been wondering about how to develop that spark, and here's proof that I'm not alone in thinking that you don't have to be born with charisma to get it.

Gmail

Gmail just revamped. It's awesome! I feel like I'm using a screen from Star Trek to check my e-mail.

Happiest Place on Earth

I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!

I had so much fun yesterday it should have been illegal.
I want to go again, and again, and again. Forever.

I can't believe that I think I had more fun yesterday at Disney as an adult than I think I ever did when I was a kid.

And may I say that the Winnie the Pooh ride is the most hilarious, trippiest, and awesome ride ever???

WOW.

I'm still smiling.

My cutsie pie

:)

Oooh

Its Hypnotoad!

Hear those drums

This has been around for a long time but I still LUV it!

Just can't find the words?

Try this.

It should come in handy.

?

Animals Getting Drunk

Bothered

It really annoys me that every time the trailer for Australia comes on all I can think of is Pirates of the Caribbean.

Really Hans Zimmer, can't you at least add a flute or something. Some Kettle Drums would be nice.

Oh, wait. How about not using the exact same melody and instrumentation for every score?

That would be great, 'cuz it's starting to interfere with my ability to pay attention to the movie, because all I can think about is the fact that I can't decide whether this sound's more like Pirates or Gladiator. (Pirates)

Its rather like John Williams and Harry Potter. Does it sound more like Home Alone or ET? (Well at least it sounds like Home Alone.)


*edit* I guess Hans Zimmer didn't do the soundtrack for Australia? Then why the hell does it sound like it on the trailer?

fairly productive day

Its been a pretty productive day for me if you're talking about actually doing things. But not writing.

First I finished my Pell for practicing my sword technique.

Then I went down to Paramount to see if I could get my hands on a copy of Kung Fu Panda, and of course they were out. So I bought Ferris Bueller's Day Off, No Direction Home, a t-shirt, and an Indiana Jones hat. I actually ran into Steve Glickman, the comedian who played the music producer on the pilot I worked on, which reminds me I need to find an open mic night.

On my way home Vincent (my car) started making an awful sound and then the air conditioning stopped working, so I took him to the Honda dealer and I'll drop him off in the morning. Which is too bad because I wanted to run down to San Diego for an SCA event.

Next I opened a new checking account.

And then I cut and shaped a piece of rattan to be made into a sword, but I needed some more duct tape and a hose clamp to attach the basket hilt. After I got that I came home and covered my piece of rattan in tape.

I got the kit to make my SCA helmet in the mail today, and I am both very excited and basically intimidated at the prospect of putting it together.

I was going to make the pattern for my coat of plated tonight, but I think I'll go to bed instead.

Actually, I did get a little writing done. I wrote most of an e-mail to Tom Jacobson the producer of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Mission to Mars, Big Trouble, The Ladykillers, who apparently is the son of a friend of my dad's bridge partner. And his brother I guess is the agent who represents Kevin Costner and Bette Midler. Needless to say, I want to get it right. Which is why I'm going to call my dad in the morning and make him listen to my e-mail before I send it.

Now tomorrow, since my car is going to be in the shop, I'd better get some freaking writing done.

Post

Hey look! I posted.

wow.

stop the presses.

Lovely

Sing sweet nightingale sing sweet.

The Universe

Occam's Razor muthafucka.

Because, "it may never be possible to observe other universes directly, but he argues that scientists may still be able to make a convincing case for their existence."

Sounds a whole lot like believing in God. And quite frankly? I'd rather believe in God, because at least He cares.

I'll keep this in mind

I'll have to make sure and avoid these.

Oh, wait I get it. That's funny.

totally

Dear God it's the end of the WORLD!!!

If this comes to be...I quit.

I'm done.

My spirit is broken.

Fuck you Hollywood.

...

I love John Williams?

And I want to marry whoever the hell this guy is.

wow cool

This totally blew my mind.

Rights

So apparently the Mormon Church donated $25 million to get Prop 8 passed.

This has royally pissed off every liberal in history and they want to get the Mormon Church classified as a cult to revoke its tax exempt status.

This really makes me sad. Sure there should be a separation of church and state. It's one of the foundations that our country was built on, and it's a good thing not to have a State Religion, because freedom of religion is a precious thing. But this really has nothing to do with establishing a state religion. And they're not trying to PUSH their religion, they're trying to preserve it. Even though, as I've stated earlier, I believe that homosexuals should be able to live their lives as they please, so do the Mormons. Should the rights of one group, a minority, be more important than the rights of the majority? No. And neither should the minority feel threatened by the majority. You can try and liken this to the fight for equal rights for minority races and for women, but it just isn't the same. It is similar in some regards, yes, but it is not equivalent. The right to marry is on no level the same as the right to life, or the right to vote, or the right to schooling, or the right to live without fear of death. It is a ridiculous fight that before 15 years ago would have been as impossible to imagine. Which brings up another thought. Why are we always so quick to throw away the practices and standards that have been held for the 40,000 years or so of human history.

The tragic thing is that they are practicing the same animosity, hate, bigotry, and small mindedness against the Mormons (and most of Christianity or any conservative minded group) that was practiced against them for countless years. Which is why they have lost my respect. They are just as small as their enemies, and how can I support their cause when they haven't shown that they can make the world any better for anyone else except for the 3% of the population that is effected by this?

And why are we wasting our time, effort, worry, and money on something so petty when the Nation cries for much more serious matters?

Weight

Obama cannot possibly live up to the expectations that have been put upon his shoulders.

No one is strong enough to bear the burden of the hope of this country. If he isn't destroyed, he will be a shadow of the man who took the office in 2012.

I hope I'm wrong. It makes me sick to my stomach to think how hard this is going to be.

Links

This one makes me want to dance.

This is modern living.

A new way to tie my shoes.


All the pretty drawings.

More eye candy.

How about a Game?

And last, an old favorite that I've posted before.

So I wanna Work in the Movies

I just stumbled across this article that encapsulates what I've seen so far.

My new world in a nutshell.

Trials

Prop 8 passed. I'm registered to vote in Missouri, and I will always be. But I cannot say which way I would have voted should I have had to confront that issue. As a Christian I cannot condone the Church blessing the sexual union of two of the same sex. As a Constitutional American I believe that those people have the right to pursue happiness and if they wish to be recognized as a couple by the state.

At the moment I have to listen to the liberal bullshit. Their attitude is so condescending it's really pissing me off. Do I make a counter argument? Do I lay out the foundations of why I cannot accept an "openly gay" priest/pastor/bishop? If I do that then I must digress that if I were to do this, then I must also condemn divorce, which is socially acceptable. Thus we get to the crux of the argument.

Socially acceptable.

What society deems acceptable I must approach with trepidation. It used to be that as a society we based our behavior on a code of conduct outlined by the Bible. True, this led to some atrocities, but those did not arise from the morals laid down by the Bible they came from fallen man's perversion of the Bible and our need for power and superiority.

What bothers me is the blatant superior arrogance of those who have made up their minds on everything under the sun and have closed their hearts and minds to seeking what is true. It pisses me off, and the sad thing is that you can't fight a stone heart. It only leaves you broken and bloody.

Another sad day

Michael Crichton is gone.

In the car

As usual, I was singing in my car on the way home.

Groovin' to the sweet tunes of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. (Who was the GENIUS that came up with that name. Were they high?)

And I look over to see two people laughing their asses off. At me. Their sideways glances betrayed them.

And I felt like a dork...

Then I remembered that they "SUCK."

aaannnd

I RULE!!!

plus if you want to be a comic, you should like people laughing at you.

Little Girl Blue

My all time favorite Janis song.

Yar!!!!

I am a Pirate!!

Vote

Election Day. Hooray.

Thank God this will all be over by tomorrow. I can't imagine that this race will be close enough to warrant protestation of the results.

I've gotten a lot of flack at work for my insistence that I'm voting for Ron Paul. They're telling me that I'm throwing my vote away, which is an argument that I used way back in 2000 for those who voted for Nader.

Am I a hypocrite? Of course. And I've developed my worldview more through 7 years of college. I've always voted in nearly every election held since I've been old enough to vote. Except this one.

I could say that I'm ashamed. But I've abandoned my service to my country before, no matter how much I love her. I don't feel ashamed for not voting, I feel ashamed for lying that I did to my workmates. I didn't want to deal with that particular scorn. It's bad enough that they think that I'm throwing my vote away.

And this is the crux of my sorrow in this election. People are afraid that their vote won't count so instead of truly voting for a candidate that they believe in whose policies they agree with they sell out and pick the "lesser of two evils" instead.

Cowardice.

It is for this reason real change in the USA is stagnant and nearly unobtainable. In the primaries people wouldn't side with Ron Paul because his vision is too big.

"Get rid of the IRS? Pull out of foreign lands? Return to the gold standard? MADNESS!! We can't do that!"

What we can't do, it seems, is sacrifice our comfort for a few years to ensure the survival of our nation and the well-being of our children.

My country, my love, my homeland is dying. And we have the cure for the disease, but we're too afraid to take it.

Cowardice.

Since when are WE cowards? We're pioneers. We boldly go where none have before. We are the children of children who left their parents, their homes, their loves to pursue a free new world and a better life for their children.

And WE can't live without the newest iPhone?

I cry for what my love has become, and I sing because of what she still is.

I chose not to vote. It was my choice and it was a conscious one. And if I had voted I would have cast my ballot for a losing cause, standing against the tide of cowards who are afraid not to count for something.

Someday, I pray that God might use me in some capacity in the coming Reloveution. I see a day when our eyes are opened and we who have had to live with the mess that our parents have made of our nation decide to take a different path.

We can dream, can't we?

Oh Wheaton How I Miss You

Even more than two years after graduating I still miss my Alma Mater more than words can express. What's sad is that so many of the students there won't fully realize the wonder of Wheaton until after it's too late to fully appreciate it while they can. And those who have never gone there can't understand why we adore her so.

Long

This has the potential to be a VERY long and boring week.

Shooting for the Pilot I'm a PA for ends today. Yay! It was supposed to be my last day too, but it looks like I'll be here for a couple more day. I'm really hoping that it won't be for the entire week, but hey, moolah is moolah. And it should be fairly smooth sailing from here on out. Not too many more things to copy. No more sides, call sheets, or scripts left to copy. Basically we'll be packing up stuff and returning equipment. I'm guessing that a lot of the equipment will be returned by the transpo guys (whoever the hell they are) and we won't be needed more than a couple of days. There won't be any more new people to fill out paperwork and file, not really any more time cards after today and there won't be new clothes to schlup around. Basically, I'm not sure what they'd need more than one of us (Ryan) for after Wednesday at the latest.

The only thing I'm sad about is that there is a 99% probability that I won't make it to fighter practice tonight. :( I probably won't even make it to Coral's afterward.

In other news, I'm looking for open mic nights at comedy clubs. Why? Because I've decided that I want to give stand-up a try. Why? 'cuz I've always thought I was funny.

But mainly its a way to gain some exposure, try every path, and just cover my bases. Who knows? Maybe I'll be really good at it. Maybe not. Maybe it will open that door a little wider and take the pressure off of my foot. Maybe not. My advantage would be that I haven't spent my life wanting to be comedian when I grow up. I adore Gilda Radner, Jane Curtain, and Madeline Kahn, but I never gave a thought to actually trying comedy. But I'm here. I'll be out of a job by the end of the week, and I like to make people laugh.

I'm nothing if not random in a very predictable way.

Proof

I know we don't need proof, but sometimes it's good for the soul.

Candles

Burned!

Quiet Blog= Busy Life

It's been a really busy two days at work. Which means that at least the time goes by at a more than glacial pace.

Yesterday I had to be here at 6:30am. But today I got to sleep in and come in at 9am. I've been running around town like a chicken with my head cut off. It's really wearing. Outside of that, I've made a bajillion copies and carried a bunch of heavy things. Mostly I go pick stuff up. I don't think I can do this for long and remain in anyway the person I've come to be and come to like. But I don't know exactly where to go from here.

I'm thinking that perhaps the most prudent course of action is not to go full tilt and try to be working constantly, but to have enough time to write and develop ideas into sellable products. What I think might end up paying off the most is to develop and expand a presence on the internet that showcases my talent's and creativity in such a way to to expedite my career.

But first, I need to make my way onto set.

I'm also considering a name for my production company. I'm thinking Rock Wanderer Productions/Films. With my symbol being the same as my personal symbol, the Lion and the Fleur de Lis.

:(

I refuse to play by these rules.

Wed.

It's Wednesday already!!!

Thank God. Literally.

And Luke Skywalker is a total freaking whiny moron. This link PROVES it.

"Actors"

I just overheard the kid who plays the main character in the Pilot I'm working for dissing Wheaton. More Specifically my alma mater. He said that his old girlfriend was from Wheaton and her father said the town had "small minds and big back yards." That it was because the College was so conservative. Like conservative was a bad word.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

First off. ACTOR. You're 20. You've seen LA and New York. You're from Milwaukee. Oooohh. Nice. You're never getting hired by me. Sorry. You should be more careful about whose college you diss.

Wheaton may be conservative, but it's minds are wide open. More so than most liberals that I've known in my life.

Basically, I'm just a tad resentful of the "talent," which has yet to be evaluated by my critical eye. It just seems to me that everyone working on this project is a little too enthusiastic about this project for what the premise promises, and what I've read so ar of the script. It's not bad, it really isn't. I'm just not sold. I'm only seeing pieces and parts of the production, but I'm a hard sell on this. It just bothers me to see these guys waltz in and get all the attention and perks for what? The possibility that they'll be the next great boy band? Lapping up the Jonas Brothers' wake? Welcome to Hollywood. Its the way the business works. Get used to it. Whatever.

Let go and Let God.

*edit* One reason why actors bother me is the desperation. More than any other specialty in this field actors are desperate. In more ways than one. If they're not working they're desperate for work. If they are working they're desperate for a better role. It goes back to the thing that bothered me about that one successful producer dude, he said he wanted people who were desperate for success. But desperation still stinks. Please, oh, please don't let me get to the true desperate place.

My Name is Ridiculous

Someday, I'm going to make fully functional SCA armor modeled after Wonder Woman's. :)

Completely not period, but you know...If I do it right it just might pass.

*edit* I've also decided to translate Wonder Woman into Old Norse and use it as part of my SCA name. Which I hope will be Brynja (Kynligrvíf) Bárðardóttir. Kynligr=Wondrous víf=woman

Push

THE only trailer including Dakota Fanning that actually made me want to see the movie. I'm starting to believe that perhaps she'll actually continue to be a good actress.

And I wish her all the luck in the world. If she keeps it up I'll probably be willing to work with her. :P

Blah

I am sooo happy that I'm done for the week.

LA traffic is basically Satan incarnate. Especially if you're trying to get from LA to the Valley. And we all know that once you get me into a car, I'm no longer the nicest person in the world. Basically I don't give half a f*ck for the other person, although I mostly follow the rules and will usually be nice if you're trying to merge getting on the highway 'cause I want you to let me in next time. But there is one thing I do not tolerate and will be a class A asshole about. When the road narrows and you run to the front I will put my bumper 3 inches from the car in front of me and not let the ass-hole (being the "person" trying to cut) who tried to get to the front to save a couple of seconds. Yes I know that you want to squeeze there in front of me. And no I don't give a fuck. And yes you can honk at me and flash your brights, I'll give you the finger and ignore you. You're the reason the traffic is at a crawl so fuck off. My exception is if it is unexpected and there are not multiple signs for a couple-hundred feet previous, then it's ok. We all make that mistake, it's forgivable. But the other? Go fuck yourself.

Oh, and my language goes to pot too.

Basically, TGIF.

IFKC

I fucking hate costumes.

Thats all. I've been for the last 9 hours going through receipts and racks of clothing and organizing them before running 8 heavy hanging bags full of designer clothing back to Macy's halfway across town.

But I'm learning. About how much I don't want to be in costuming. They're mostly really cool people.

LOLs!!!

more animals



more animals

Writing

Snarky writing is annoying the hell out of me. Especially if it is tongue in cheek pandering to the sarcastic cool hipster artsy fartsy city dwelling consumer whores who are just as likely to be writing a snark filled review as the person whom they look for for their swanky opinions.

Maybe because it hits too close to the bone. Or perhaps it is because I am envious. Or maybe I'm tiered from leaving my house at 7:30am and getting home between 7 and 8 pm. Suddenly I sympathize with all the real people in the world.

But who's complaining?

Oh, yeah. I am.

Chomping at the Bit

As cool as this job is...I'm not made for the office. At all. I need to find out what I need to do to start inching my way into the creative side of things. I'll have to catch Jennifer when she gets back from Kansas and ask her how I might go about getting in to perhaps the camera/sound/editing departments. I know this is my first job, but in true Jenny fashion, I get ahead of myself. But I'm also leery of getting settled into a groove.

I think I've said this about 1,000 times, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, I'm making my move on my own. I know enough people in KC and Columbia through Stephens that I could get a crew. The logistics are still completely in the air, but once I get a script I'm on it like LoL Cat on a Cheezeberger.

What I See

What I see is...things that don't quite work. A whole bunch of gears whose teeth don't match up quite right, the gears grind and the whole thing slips. It seems to me that the Film Industry is full of these slipping gears. And when the gears slip a ton of money falls through and the good stories get stuck while the shitatious stories get made. Or the whole thing groans to a halt and it shakes with mounting strain as the drivers hit the throttle trying to get the thing to go, but it's about to die.

So, why am I here? To asses the problem, to see where the cracks are, to get a feel for the competition and the way the whole engine runs. If God sees fit to let me slip through the gears while I'm here, GREAT!! If not, well, I think I'd rather make my own way. I'm more comfortable with my own paths than the ones that others travel. I've always had a tendency to walk my own way, and I fervently hope that way is the path that God has prepared for me.

It's the whole "Thinking outside of the box" thing. Are those the people who don't see the box, the ones stuck on the inside and can't escape, or are they the ones who travel from inside to the outside freely because they are not aware that there are walls to not cross.

I hate boxes. You know, unless I need to move, and then I hate them even more. :P

scandalous

This is the "banned" version of probably my favorite Veggie Tales song ever.

I Love My Lips

My lips are chapped. :(

Yargg!!!

I just freaking freak myself out sometimes. Like just making stupid little dumbass mistakes. And they always seem to be for the more important people.
Freaking freak freak. Give me one more day, and I'll have it. I swear.

Day 2

So, today is day number two at my first real job ever. Sweet. For some reason I'm in a much better mood today than I was yesterday. Probably because I hate beginnings. Although beginnings are exciting, they are also freaking scary. Now, I at least know some of the ropes so that I won't totally freak out when the phone rings.

Speaking of which...Yesterday I was the only PA in the office for an hour or so and I had to answer the phone. I'd been taught at least twice how to transfer a call and of course I get it wrong. And who calls? The VP of Production at Nickelodeon! Yeah. I freaked. But it was all cool. Tom (the Producer) and Susan (the Production Coordinator) were really nice about it. Which kicks ass. The other PA's are extremely nice too. Ryan and Lawrence have both been working for Nick for at least a few months. Jonathan is the Assistant Production Coordinator, and he's really nice too. The environment here is perfect for an intro job. At least so far, but I don't see how it will go bad. I'm blessed beyond measure. From what I can see, by observing the others in the office, there isn't a job that I couldn't do. I'm really looking forward to when production starts. I hope they'll let me go over to the set and watch for a little while. I'm happy that I'm getting to see the pre-production logistics side of things, and I'll learn all that I can, but I'm itching to get on set. That's what at this point I'm most interested in. Kelly (my roommate) has worked quite a bit as a Camera Assistant, and I think that perhaps that I may try to get into that line for a little while. Besides direction, camera is something I'm very interested in. I also wouldn't mind being a boom mic operator, it's hard on the shoulders, but all that means is that I'd be able to strengthen my shoulders for fighting in the SCA.

Ok. I should go.

The final countdown

First Day

Today is the first day of my first film job.

:D

Coooool!

I just wish I weren't dead tiered from the Great Western War. Good thing I didn't fight. I don't think I wold be able to walk!

Nonononononononononono

ahhahhahahahahaha

My Name

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 1 or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Glad

Today's also Leif Ericsson Day. GO NORSEMEN!

Take On Me: Literal Video Version

>:(

The bailout really pisses me off. Isn't it unconstitutional?

And furthermore why is the military just taking it from the government? Their oath is to protect and defend the Constitution against enemies foreign and domestic first. Then it says to obey the President, but it seems to me that the biggest enemies to the constitution are domestic at the moment.

Just a thought.

Blue or green?

I like both.

SOOOOO COOOL!!!

I got to put on armor and get hit at fighter practice tonight!!!!

It was sweet. Of course I went too hard and almost fainted, need to work on eating before working out. But it was awesome. The loaner armor's legs hardly fit at all, and I'm loath to put them on again, so I might have to invest in some of my own leg protection. And work on shoulder strength.

Sigvauld (I have no idea how to spell that) let me keep a short piece of rattan to practice with to get the hits right.

I'm so totally hooked for life.

:)

Good times!

Hrmmm...

I've been on edge since coming to LA. It's weird. I just can't relax. I'm sure that after the first couple of days on the job the anxiety will ease up and I'll just slip in to the swing of things. I haven't been this worked up about something in a long time. This is the way I used to get when I was about to go to Space Camp. Or when I was waiting for my appointment to USNA.

I guess it comes down to pivotal parts of my life, or at least things I've put a lot of hope and work into. It has to do with really wanting to do everything right and be the best I can be. Once in the groove things tend to settle down. But this time, I feel like I have a lot riding on this period in my life. I feel like it is either do or die, but at this very moment there is nothing I can actually DO and I hate that feeling. To succeed in this business you have to be proactive, I know that, but my job starts in a week or less and there's nothing I can do at the moment besides wait. Last week and the week before I had a really good creative influx and put down a lot of notes for future development, but right now I'm too tense to focus on anything.

I should be searching hard for the next job after this, but I feel as though I need to gauge my reaction and experience on this first job. I want to see what it is like on the lot/set/office so I can start determining what I want to do for the next couple of years before I make my first movie.

That's the thing. I'm here in Hollywood to see how it is done so I can take what I need and get on with my career. I don't want to spend years and years doing menial tasks getting nowhere before I make my move. I want to have a full length feature film in the can in 2 years. Short deadline, but I need the whip of time to get me going. Getting a movie made is a matter of logistics. It can be done, and done well, on a shoestring budget and filmed in less than 20 days. Its been done before. I can do it. Its all about strategy.

I just have to get over this freaking stupid fear of...

Kim (or Lois Ann) once said that I fear success. I think they're right. I am afraid of what I want.

Blah blah blah blah blah...

I just need to get this crap out there so I can get over myself and get on with it.

sorry.

You shall not pass!!!!!

I love Gandalf's magic flashlight.

Someday I'm so going to reference it.

LOL!!!!!

This might not go over well.

I'm not voting.

I loath both of the candidates and cannot support either party in any capacity especially considering the colossal fuckup that is the bail out.

If I voted for either McCain or Obama I would be saying that I agree with them, and I don't on any issue that I can see.

If Ron Paul were in some contention for Presidency, or if I could make a legitimate statement by writing him into the ballot then I would vote.

But since the system is gone to hell and Washington is determined to wreck America beyond hope, I refuse to vote for someone who in reality I see harming America more than protecting or instigating any form of change.

So I will not vote. I understand that in a way this undermines my feelings of duty to my country, but to vote for a candidate that I don't believe in in any way would be dishonorable and dishonest.

Call me when our generation is tiered of taking on our parent's burden and I'll be there. Until then the whole system can fuck off.

How do I become a citizen of...hmm....Iceland? I don't want Washington's stupid meddling hands on my money.

Inspiration

I was listening to my favorite weekly film podcast and they were extolling the virtues of this particular movie.

This should be THE movie that every half-assed high school artist should put at the head of their movie list.

It toes the line between pretentiousness and brilliance. Bravo.

2 things

!. I got my Pass for Paramount today.
Its official. I'm COOL.

2. I have to go Here tomorrow. I have to.
Or I'll Die.

Attack of the Dog

I made this. :P

JOB!!!!!

I got it!

I start on Oct 13th! Yay!

My old stomping grounds

Someday I am totally taking ALL my friends to do this.

fam is totally welcome too.

I bet if I were doing research for a movie they would make it longer and more interesting...

Neighbor Assholes

There is some asshole of a neighbor who likes to call the parking police. You can only park on our street for 2 hours at a time during the day.

I live here.

My contract states I'm not supposed to park in the driveway.

I can't park in the street.

I have an asshole of a neighbor.

And now I have a parking ticket.

I missed heading it off with the police by about 5 minutes. The traffic lady was VERY nice, and actually so was I. We commiserated about the asshole.

But I still have a parking ticket.

Fucking Catch 22.

Really cool

You know what're really cool?

Vests are really cool. I think I may adopt wearing vests sometime in the future. They look really smart.

And the fact that the bailout failed. That's really cool. Throwing more money at the Harvard fucktards who screwed the economy isn't the solution. It'll ruin us.

true

Space

I really shouldn't be watching this show. When We Left the Earth. Something like that. But its all about our flights into space.

China performed its first space walk this week.

Why are we throwing money away on stupid investments and never ending wars. We should be investing in our future. Look at what NASA has done with its paltry budget, just imagine what they could do with even one fourth of what is thrown at the military and bailing out companies who should have known better.

It makes me so mad/sad that I want to cry.

How have we sunk to this point?

Who can save us?

Sure as hell not McCain or Obama.

Our parents are destroying our future.

Go figure.

Rest in Peace Mr. Newman

Ooooh.

Books!

Card

I picked up the card I designed from kinko's this afternoon. Just above my name is the lion and the fleur de lis that heads this page. (in black and white of course)

I love it. It is simple, elegant, eye catching, and fits me perfectly. I have 500, so if you want one I have a couple to spare. The font may be a little small, but it is clear. It only cost $34 for 500. That was a lot less than I thought I might have to spend.

The Big Day

So yesterday was a big day. I had my interview at Paramount Studios and it really went well. They didn't promise me anything, but I feel good about it. And I've got Jennifer on my side, which is a big bonus. They did say that they are interviewing a couple of other potentials and that one or two of them are the "I have connections" type. Which is really annoying. It sucks that those who are practically born in to the business don't have to hardly try. But why am I complaining. I got my first interview in a WEEK at Paramount, none the less. I am already ridiculously blessed. I am both eternally grateful and absolutely terrified.

Anyway. The interview went great, and then I got the opportunity to walk around the lot. So I wandered around Paramount Studios for a little while. THAT was cool. After that I headed strait over to CBS to say hey to my roommate Kelly. She's the one who works for Dancing with the Stars. She showed me the set and then went right behind the studios and showed me the farmers market and the grove. Sweet action dude. Unfortunately, I guess she had a bad day yesterday. Hope today makes it up to her.

After that I had the rest of the afternoon off. But at 7pm I had this thing called Schmoozefest in Beverly Hills. Basically you pay some money, show up, and pump some successful industry professionals for info on how to "make it." It was a valuable experience, but for me it was slightly discouraging. After all my career goals only mirror half of all the Hollywood wannabes out there.

What I came away with was the sense that I have to make my own way. What makes me special? Why will I make it when all those others have failed? Providence. That is the only answer I can come up with. I would not even be here if I didn't feel called here by my Lord. I have to believe that this is what I was created for. And I do. Perhaps I am arrogant in my confidence in my own abilities. I can't want this for myself. The thought is revolting. I can't stomach the thought of being that shallow. That disease permeates this town's every pore. I was off center all night at the Schmoozefest. I could feel the desperation in the room, the sickly need for attention, success, money, fame, I don't know what else. One of the VIP guests was a big time producer, I asked him, "What stands out to you as a producer?" His answer? Desperation. I really think he got it wrong. You don't want desperate. You want driven, hungry, tenacious, confident. Not desperate. Desperate is bad. Desperate is willing to sell your soul. NO. Desperation is a disease that is killing the industry.

This brings me back to something I was talking about at the beginning. My calling. The only thing I can be desperate for is God. If I EVER get to the point that I am desperate for success in this business, then it is time to leave. But I will go forth in confidence, because this is the path that I am called down. And for where ever this path may end, I will follow it.

This town, especially this industry, needs a wind of change.

I believe.

I hope.

Let the wind blow.

Interview!!!!

I hazarded the perils of phone communication and called a lady back about a dog, I mean interview.

TOMORROW.

At PARAMOUNT.

I'm going to have a PASS.

Dude.

I'm freaked.

:)

I hope I nail it and blow them away with my charming personality.

And I won't bother with any of that self effacing crap.

Oh hell, what do I wear? They told me not to wear heels, no problem, but should I wear something nicer than kaki's?

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg

I've been checking out websites looking for places I might send my resume. I've got to remember that I've only been here for a week and that I have to be patient. I am NOT a patient person. I've had lots of practice in patience, but honestly I haven't improved all that much over the years.

It's just, I'm sitting here in my room at a loss at where I want to put my resume in. I'm picky. And I'm afraid that I might book something, and then something better will come along. I'm just...still a little overwhelmed at the prospect of actually being here. I don't like being idle. Especially now that I'm actually in LA. But at the same time, there's that whole I hate putting myself out there on a limb thing. Basically the whole phone thing, talking to people thing, and self effacing thing. It really really doesn't fly in this town.

What I really need to do in my free time is write. Write a couple of screenplays, and begin my book series. And develop a children's tv series, since that is what my roommate wants to produce some day. I think I can come up with a couple of viable ideas.

Patience. Just have patience, Jens. Keep your eyes and ears open, and get yourself out there. It will be golden.

I know it will.

Old Feelings

Apollo 13 is on.

I still love this movie. It is exactly the type of movie that I want to make. Unfortunately, Apollo 13 is the only mission that I know of that is dramatic enough to warrant a movie.

If space travel ever returns to real missions that go places, then I might consider NASA again. As it is, after I get settled into my career I think I'd like to start work on a PhD in Planetary Geosciences. Why? Because I still love the stuff. I have a feeling that when I'm 45 I'll apply to NASA as an ASCAN. By then I'll be established as a filmmaker and I'll be able to use that as leverage. In 20 years we'll hopefully be back on the moon and on our way to mars, NASA will need the publicity. And who better to produce quality footage and work the media than a Hollywood professional. And who better than me, who has always had a passion for space travel and has always loved NASA to be that Hollywood professional.

Or, I could just forget it. But I'm not that sort of person.

Tom Cruise Scientology Video - ( Original UNCUT )

No love

I leave no exceptional love for what I leave behind. It's done. Goodbye. Come what may.

V - Now in words we can all understand!

i hate this movie

Long Time West

We really booked it across the country this weekend. Most of the trip was really quite beautiful. It was only after Phoenix that the desert was ugly.

We went through Salt River Canyon, and it was gorgeous. I liked it better than I liked the Grand Canyon, only because it was on a scale that I could appreciate.

On the way here I listened to most of Gaiman's American Gods. I'm not going to get to finish it, but I've read the book. The thing I really wanted to listen to was his interview on the last CD.

Meh.

Now I just have to find a job...suxors.

Migration

I am tonight in Newport Beach, a swanky house in a gated community a mile and a half away from the beach.

It was a long f-ing drive out here.

I'll realize I'm in CA tomorrow when I unpack my car...wow.

Dinner

At this very moment there is a party under my feet. A $2000 dollar dinner party hosted by my parents.

In June my parents, with the help of the Bartons put together a dinner to be auctioned off at Powell Gardens, where my mom volunteers and Mrs. Barton is a board member. The dinner was bought for $2000 by some friends of my parents and tonight there are 8 diners sitting around our old dining table being treated to an 11 course meal catered by Jonathan Justus who is super super awesome.

He and his wife own the Justus Drugstore Restaurant in Smithville. They serve cuizine made only from things grown and produced locally. The food is the best I've ever eaten in my life.

Tonight kicks ass.

>:(

Pray for my dad on Thursday.

That's all I can say.

Breathtaking

Never ONCE have I ever seen anything produced by Studio Ghibli that wasn't breathtakingly brilliant.

They produce stories that have two fingers on the pulse of myth, they're so beautiful it sometimes makes makes me want to weep with joy. And the animation? I can't find fault with their work. Seriously. Its something I can only ever hope to capture a glimpse of in my own work.

Big Storm

So there's this hurricane, right? And his name is Gustav. And he seems to be headed for New Orleans.

Weeeell. I'm supposed to fly to New Orleans on Thursday. The city has been evacuated. And I'm supposed to go there in 4 days for a conference.

This sucks.

I'd better get my money back, and Marriot better not be a bitch about my reservation either...and southwest for that matter.

:(

I don't want to go anyway.

*edit
I just got the e-mail. Its canceled. That means I can go to Meme's again. :)

Stupid Uncle

Apparently my uncle has fallen in love with an elephant and is traveling around following a circus.

I hope the elephant sits on him.

I need to see this

Apparently it was made on a budget of $7000.

Wanderings

So. I'm back from LA.

I've got a place to live.

It rocks.

I leave in less than 3 weeks.

I love Missouri.

Vincent needed a new battery today. (he felt betrayed that I drove another car, I'm sure)

I'm desperately in need of a good hard work out, but I'm not in the mood.

I didn't see any famous people in LA, but I saw a guy from Saturday Night Live in Denver.

I did see a dancing liquid transport truck on the 405 and it was scary, I didn't want it to dance on ME.

I love Missouri.

I missed my guitar.

I have a hell of a lot of cleaning and packing to get done...eventually.

I also have to paint a stool, write a song, and make a couple of t-shirts pretty.

Lol...cat

more animals

Star Wars Galactic Empire Begins Invasion of San Francisco

Where do I sign up?

I Love Lucy Vitameatavegamin

Best sketch in comic history.

Monkey Island

Monkey Island was one of the first PC games I ever played and the second I ever finished.

It stands at the top of my favorite games of all time. I'd love to adapt it into a movie, because it would be both hilarious and...awesome.

Used To

I used to like Bill O'Reilly, but he's a giant douche bag, so never mind.

Cali

My first thought upon seeing LA from the air was, "OH, shit." It's butt ugly and there's this disgusting yellow smog all over the place.

This impression wasn't really assuaged in any way after getting in my rental car and finding the 405. The traffic wasn't that bad, but the sights were less than appealing. Lots and lots of big industrial buildings with pipes and stuff that look like they were the inspiration for THE MATRIX.

Since coming into town my initial terror at the prospect of moving to someplace so cityish and brown has lessened. Mostly due to the fact that I've been driving relentlessly around the area and have seen enough really posh green spaces that I just might end up liking LA eventually. Pasadena is really sweet and so is Venice Beach, Beverly Hills, Malibu, Topanga Canyon, and the bit of Long Beach that Molly lives in.

I think my attitude will continue to change as I get to know the city. I wasn't all that keen on Chicago at first either...wait, no, I only really like Wheaton, but still...

I only have one place left to check out as a housing possibility, and I have the distinct feeling that I'll be begging the chick to let me live there within 10 minutes of meeting her.

At the moment I'm chilling on Molly's bed while she's at work. I discovered an Ikea magazine under the coffee table in the living room and just about flipped my lid when I checked out the prices. DUDE, that's sweet. We don't have an Ikea in KC that I know of, and I've never really looked at any of their stuff. NOW I'm getting stoked. I want to furnish my new room.

I also need to find Mullholland Drive.

Spaghetti Cat

Last Night.

Last night was my last night with Mama.

Unfortunately, no matter how much I try to I just can't feel any more sad about it than I would just going back home after a regular shift.


I"M GOING TO BE IN LA NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!

I'M GOING TO FIND A SUPER SWEET PLACE TO LIVE!!!!!!

I'M GOING TO SEE...!!!!!!

AND BOATS!

AND FAMOUS PEOPLE!!!!!

Hayes Carll - She Left Me for Jesus

Funny stuff.

O.o

I literally stopped breathing when I watched this for the first time. If nothing else it will be a feast for the eyes. I'd love to work in that style someday if I have the right story for it.

What do you know?

It's actually been a couple of DAYs since I've blogged.

I guess that means that I actually have been doing something with my time besides wasting it with glorious perfection.

Yesterday I realized why I had been so susceptible to moodiness last week. Hmm. I'm fine now.

I've been working on Untrodden Ways and it's almost done...well I've only got three more sequences to splice together and they happen to be the ones I've been dreading. The thing is, is that I didn't cover all my material as well as I should have with film. So I'm not sure how well the last couple of stage scenes are going to work on film. The audio is very likely to be much lower than the rest, but there's nothing I can do about that. And I still have to figure out how I'm going to transition back from film to stage. Because the original production was a combination of the two, my transition worked really well to bring the audience back from the film to the live action. However, the lighting in the theater is too low to actually see much of the action on the live version of the film. I should have...eh, too late for that. I'll figure it out. I have an idea.

I've also been working on Rathe, the sister universe to Threa. Its coming along much better than Threa has for years now. I've got a good working idea for at least two stories involving Rathe that could very well pan out to be a trilogy, but why must everything be in trilogy, maybe this is just a two-thingy (don't know the term).

Oh, yeah. And I'm helping my friend Dacus film a short thing for his senior show. I was up in Liberty until 2am last night and didn't get home until 3. I'm going back up tonight because of course we didn't get the filming done.

Welp, back to the working on shit thing.

Games

I've hardly played video games at all this summer. I played some Phoenix Wright, and Mahjong (however the hell that's spelled), but almost no XBox 360 at all. I had thought I would play a ton of GTAIV, but I just haven't been in the mood at all.

I do miss playing Halo 3 on XBox live. I'll probably pick that back up once I settle in CA, but the internet connection here is kinda on and off. I did figure out how to connect my xbox wirelessly through my laptop (saving $90), but I haven't trusted the connection to play more than 2 games.

Actually, my tv has hardly been on at all this summer. Not even for movies.

Must be living at home makes me wary of actually spending too much time playing games.

But I have played a lot of piano and guitar. I'm getting decent at sight reading, which totally stokes me. I'm working of Clair de Lune, and it almost sounds a little like the song. :)

My dad also told me if I can learn the Bonnie Raitt song Hear Me Lord, that he would buy me a fancy new electric guitar...he should have picked a harder song. Give me 3 weeks.

In other news the most awesome favorite game of all time is coming 2 days after my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! (with the exception of Kingdom Hearts, of course.)

Not Cool

Its hot here.

And I'm still recovering from reading that book on Sunday.

And YouTube has failed to post the last 3 videos that I have tried to get on here.

Not cool.

Dude, I wish I was HOT. That would be cool...

I need out of this place.

<3

Twilight is fantastic.

Just finished it. I was completely satisfied. Its not often that I read/see something that keeps my analytical mind at bay, but this certainly did.

I'll be reading the whole series repeatedly until I die. So I can at least pretend for a few hours that I am Bella Swan.

Damn. I ache.

Ha!!!!!!!!!

>:(

SOMEONE has stolen my NAME!!!!!

I just happened not to be able to keep my hands off of Breaking Dawn and noticed in the acknowledgments that someone has the name Jens...

bastard.

Oh well, I'm still using it.

wow

mind blown

West Log

I was struck by the idea this morning that perhaps I should start a running diary on my computer about my coming adventures (or depressing lack there of) in Hollywood. Its actually something of a rip off of Robert Rodriguez's Rebel Without a Crew, which was quite amazing. But if I actually make a name for myself eventually it would be interesting to read what was going on in my head/life from the beginning. Starting as a starved over-her-head underdog from the Midwest without a clue and see where it goes. I was also inspired by reading the Dresden Dolls Diary on blogspot. Amanda Palmer has been faithfully (relatively) updating the blog since 2003, before they even had a recording contract and reading through the archives is better than almost any autobiography or biography that I've read. Its immediate, honest, and rambling.

My Diary thing would be different than this blog, namely because it will be more brutally honest. A diary, not like my Moleskin journal, where I whine and am introspective, but where I chronicle what progress (or again lack there of) I have made. How who and all that shit.

Just a thought. Me being overly confident/optimistic about my success.

Actually, I'm getting more and more scared about the next couple of years. What if it's like the academy? Nononononononono I can't like that. Get a backbone Jens. No fear...

...shit.

A Constellation of Black Holes

A addicted to celebrity gossip as our culture is I can't help but notice something.

For so few, so seldom does their smile reach their eyes.

So why do they smile?

What are they thinking?

I hope for and dread the possibility that I'll find out.

Will I smile with dead eyes? Will I be caught in that web?

Or am I overstepping by bounds to even consider the prospect?

Only time will tell...

I used to want to do this to people

Buzz Aldren= old school test/fighter pilot= brawler

That asshole had it coming. Astronauts used to be bad ass. Not so much anymore.

Soy un peridor

5 videos/media in a row?????

I'm a loser. HA!

Damn I love Futurama

Herb

My FAVORITE Herb...

Cilantro!

CAT

I think that I need a cat to protect me in LA...

Lonely Astronaut

Ok.

The more...no...hmmm...

Let's just say Amanda Palmer's tendency to work astronauts into her music, coupled with some other stuff is really starting to freak me out.

Bright Eyes Mashup

Hopelessly Hopeless

I am a hopeless romantic.

Old School. The kind where the guy makes the first move and true love is somewhere just around the corner. This has always been the case. You couldn't tell by looking at me the way I refuse to wear anything but over sized guy clothing. I've basically been this way since I started dressing myself when I was three. It probably is a major factor in why at the age of...middle twenties...I have yet to experience that thing most people get their first fling with 10 years earlier. You know that romance thing, where you go out with a dude and are mutually attracted to each other and proceed to turn each other's lives upside down.
It kinda sucks, and it's also has become very very comfortable. Why hope in that dream? Not at this point. Maybe later.

Why this now? Well two reasons.

My three closest friends from childhood and high school are either married or will be by the end of the year.

And

Twilight.
Makes me wish I were a teen again. Except for that whole academy thing and not being 21...

A Thousand Things

There are a thousand thoughts that are colliding in my mind.

If I ever make head or tails of them, this will be the place they'll probably end up.

For all the 1 person who ever reads this...which I definitely don't mind.

:)

Tom Traubert's Blues

I adore this song.

HA!

YYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

Look at what I made Mommie!

I've needed a new wallet for a little while now, but I couldn't seem to find one I wanted. And if I did it was more than I wanted to pay, at least I didn't want it enough to pay what they were asking. I found a "make your own duct tape wallet" kit today, and now I have the perfect wallet.

Yay.

Stupid...gross...rednecks...

So. Apparently it's now socially acceptable and cool to hang huge flesh colored/or steel bull testicles from the back of your huge gas guzzling American made SUV or Pickup Truck.

Apparently...

Apparently I'm living in an area infested with low-brow redneck morons.

Its not even clever in the remotest sense. All it says is, "Hello random stranger my Magic Johnson is neither magic nor anywhere near Johnson size." In a way that attracts the attention of everyone you pass on the street.

Really? We went from Calvin peeing on logos to magnetic ribbons for your favorite sports team to bull testicles. Really?

WHAT THE FUCK people. SERIOUSLY!?

The only remotely acceptable version of this abomination I've seen is someone who substituted a big nut (as in nuts and bolts), which at least says, "I may have a small whoo hoo, but at least I finished trade school and am making more than you, college graduate working at a restaurant."

I'm seriously considering buying a heavy duty cable cutter to carry around in the back of Vincent (my Honda) so I can cut those nuts off and use them to dent their shiny American made hoods.

I have to get out of this place...

Tech Savvy

I were truly tech savvy, and not just pathetically addicted to the internets I would have discovered this YEARS ago.

But I'm not.

Now though, I'm cool...er.

... is my favorite e-mail/writing/blogging trick. But if you know me, then you know that in order to get one sentence out of my mouth I require several of these, although they are never as cleverly timed...I just talk faster than my brain can process what it wants to say.

I've also never actually read my copy of Strunk and White.

Obviously.

and my car smells a little like rancid milk.

Especially Bright

The moon is especially bright tonight. Which reminds me of a story, which reminds me of a Meg Ryan line, which is completely appropriate. Something about how stories should remind us of real life, not the other way around. There was also something about butterflies and hats, which have nothing to do with the moon.

But still...

The moon is brilliant tonight and so is Venus...at least I think its Venus.

Go Down Moses - Sullivan's Travels (1941)

I watched this last night. This part blew me out of the water.

teh hotness

Michael York. I think I've had a crush on him since I first saw Cabaret when I was around 9.

My mom didn't exactly remember the bad bits when she borrowed it from the library.

I've always been a fan of the song, "Money."

And Mr. York.

Shifting Tides

The other night I was reading through my old live journals and I realized how drastically different I seem to have become since I started blogging.

For one thing, I don't post a bazillion quizzes anymore. I've seemed to have moved upward and onward to videos. At least they're usually entertaining.

I've also become much more...open? Egads! Some of those early posts were painfully boring. And so many dealt with stupid AFROTC and the military. I let that haunt me for way too long. And I had a tendency to be so vague that even I can't figure out what I was even talking about. (My parents have instilled a healthy dose of identity theft paranoia in me.)

I still rant though. Hopefully they have become a little less...something and more... understanding of others? Broadminded? Forgiving? Less Ass-holish? Pretentiously preachy? Full of my self?

Hopefully.

My eyes are more wide open now at least.

Oh and my writing doesn't suck quite as bad. I can't believe those earliest posts were from half way through college.

Ugh. Boring. Insipid.

I've been blogging much more in the past month than usual.

Hmmm....

why would that be?

Oh! That's Right!

I have no life, no job, and a fast interweb connection in my bedroom.

Bad mojo.

Movie

Not Happening.

M. Night...not your best.

Interesting

I found this article on Digg.

Very interesting, don't you think? If by chance this is a prolonged period of sun inactivity leading to a global temperature drop, it comes at the most convenient time in history. It would effectively counteract global warming for long enough, if it lasts as long as the "little ice age," to allow us to rid ourselves of our dependency on oil and probably save our asses.

A very convenient...coincidence, don't you think?

Of course a sun spot could show up tomorrow and ruin my fun. :(

I want Change

McCain, Obabma...they're the same to me.

Same old, Same old.

That's why I'm voting Ron Paul even if I have to write his name on the ballot by hand.

Sure he may be pushing the limits on what changes he could make as the President, but at least he sticks by his own ideals and isn't a puppet of his party.

That's it. I'm making a shirt.

Richie Havens, Freedom, (Woodstock)

One of my favorite perfomances from woodstock.

Ol' Man River by Paul Robeson on Showboat 1936

Paul Robeson was a remarkable man.

Rumblings

I have this awful suspicion that too many have stopped actually searching for the beauty of the gospel and have decided what is right. who exactly Jesus was and what does and does not glorify him...

we are surrounded by pharisees.

I will not be one.

all that matters in my life is that I cling my King, my Lord, my Liege, my love. He is my only light, but my mom and dad don't seem to believe that.

Why? Because I won't go to church with them. I can't go to that church, I can only see God it the cracks there that let the light in. But I will not fight, I will not coerce, I will not try to convince them that they are wrong, because if they truly love him they are right.

But for me? I have nothing in common with them. I am called to the darker streets where faith is harder, tested by steely minds that seek to destroy and belittle, in their self righteousness.

I was told by a friend from Jewell, that I was the best Christian they had ever met. Why? Exactly because my witness isn't to argue, to use the jargon, to spit out some effing stupid 5 point diagram to salvation. Its to show them what unconditional love does when you do right, not because the law says to, but because it is right.

My language is course. I don't go to church. But I love the only hope in the world more than anything else in the universe. And it shows. It shines-even if dimly- in the darkness I see that needs the light the most. And it is the darkest streets that need the light, a light that does not hurt or drive away, but beacons.

We have enough missionaries to Africa and pastors and sunday school teachers. Send me to Hollywood, into rock clubs, and onto the stages of the world where people go to seek beauty and escape. It is here that the lost hearts open.

The works, worlds, stories, music that I'll create aren't going to be sunday school material. Let's be honest, most of the old testement isn't sunday school material, and if it was, then it loses truth. Jesus Christ Superstar speaks to me in ways that Passion of the Christ never will, why? Its not a wonderful depiction of Christ, but it is glorious in its depiction in the struggle of faith, of destiny, love, devotion, and in the end hope.

JUDAS
"Listen Jesus, do you care for your race?
Don't you see we must keep in our place?
We are occupied
Have you forgotten how put down we are?
I am frightened by the crowd
For we are getting much too loud
And they'll crush us if we go too far
If we go too far"

or
Mary Magdalene
"I don't know how to love him
What to do, how to move him
I've been changed, yes really changed
In these past few days
When I've seen myself
I seem like someone else"

I don't know. Doubt is human, seeking searching.

I just don't think that my parents are going to like some of my work. But if they like it, it probably means that its too tame. And I'm not a tame person, and neither is my message.

Call me a rebel. I don't fit in with the Conservative Church and I don't fit in with the World.

This can be a very very lonely place. I'd be worried if it were crowded.

Truth seems hard to see, and when you think you've got it in hand...it probably means you should start searching again.

long enough? (and sorry for the shoddy grammar.)

I need to get out of this place.