The Big Day

So yesterday was a big day. I had my interview at Paramount Studios and it really went well. They didn't promise me anything, but I feel good about it. And I've got Jennifer on my side, which is a big bonus. They did say that they are interviewing a couple of other potentials and that one or two of them are the "I have connections" type. Which is really annoying. It sucks that those who are practically born in to the business don't have to hardly try. But why am I complaining. I got my first interview in a WEEK at Paramount, none the less. I am already ridiculously blessed. I am both eternally grateful and absolutely terrified.

Anyway. The interview went great, and then I got the opportunity to walk around the lot. So I wandered around Paramount Studios for a little while. THAT was cool. After that I headed strait over to CBS to say hey to my roommate Kelly. She's the one who works for Dancing with the Stars. She showed me the set and then went right behind the studios and showed me the farmers market and the grove. Sweet action dude. Unfortunately, I guess she had a bad day yesterday. Hope today makes it up to her.

After that I had the rest of the afternoon off. But at 7pm I had this thing called Schmoozefest in Beverly Hills. Basically you pay some money, show up, and pump some successful industry professionals for info on how to "make it." It was a valuable experience, but for me it was slightly discouraging. After all my career goals only mirror half of all the Hollywood wannabes out there.

What I came away with was the sense that I have to make my own way. What makes me special? Why will I make it when all those others have failed? Providence. That is the only answer I can come up with. I would not even be here if I didn't feel called here by my Lord. I have to believe that this is what I was created for. And I do. Perhaps I am arrogant in my confidence in my own abilities. I can't want this for myself. The thought is revolting. I can't stomach the thought of being that shallow. That disease permeates this town's every pore. I was off center all night at the Schmoozefest. I could feel the desperation in the room, the sickly need for attention, success, money, fame, I don't know what else. One of the VIP guests was a big time producer, I asked him, "What stands out to you as a producer?" His answer? Desperation. I really think he got it wrong. You don't want desperate. You want driven, hungry, tenacious, confident. Not desperate. Desperate is bad. Desperate is willing to sell your soul. NO. Desperation is a disease that is killing the industry.

This brings me back to something I was talking about at the beginning. My calling. The only thing I can be desperate for is God. If I EVER get to the point that I am desperate for success in this business, then it is time to leave. But I will go forth in confidence, because this is the path that I am called down. And for where ever this path may end, I will follow it.

This town, especially this industry, needs a wind of change.

I believe.

I hope.

Let the wind blow.