Forward Ho!

Something happened, I don't know how, but sometime around June I went into full retreat mode. I haven't done that since leaving the Academy and I don't know why I did this time. I was on a roll. 4 scripty jobs in a row then nothing. A couple of bites, but that's all. I had hoped that going home would shake me out of it, I came back ready, or so I thought, and fell into the same pattern. I haven't been completely idle. I've nearly finished Mercator (1 chapter to rewrite), and I have been looking for a job, I just haven't been as tenacious as I need to be. It isn't like me to remain idle for so long, and now its a deep rut. That brings an image from The Berenstain Bears of Papa pushing a wheelbarrow down the front path in a rut and demonstrating to the kids how difficult it was to get the wheelbarrow out. It was a lesson on bad habits and how hard it is to break them. I've been trying to get out of the rut but I'm not exactly sure how, but I'm not giving up. I don't give up, not without giving it all I've got. It's a time for reflection, seeking, changing habits, and pursuing writing. There is a purpose to this long doldrum and I don't want to waste it. Time is something I've wasted too much of already in my 20's. Hopefully I'll emerge from this time a better person with something to show for all this time...