The Rock Wanderer

Blog Has Moved

2011-05-05T15:17:00.001-07:00

This blog is no longer active.

Please visit:

www.jennybellington.com

I guess I might not have mentioned that here.... my bad :/

My Bad

2010-11-14T09:52:00.000-08:00

A month and more since my last blog post. Only slightly distracted by trying to pull off something monumental and at the same time preserve my sanity.

Mission success.

I just got back from a short trip to KC to finish up a ton of artwork. Everything went better than expected and I have some beautiful stuff to show for all the months of pain it took to make them.

One thing down 1000 to go including moving back to MO in a month after 2 yrs in LA, studying for and acing the GRE, Altavia Yule, SteamCon, polishing up my art, and defending it's merit.

I love crunch time! Especially when its over!

Absolute Brilliance!

2010-10-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Something to strive for. :)

Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

2010-09-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

Poor Poor Blog

2010-09-27T10:40:00.000-07:00

Oh, my poor poor blog. Why have I forsaken you? It's been so long since I've given you the attention you need and deserve.

Why????

WHY?!

And...

that's all I've got. :/

German Star Trek Commercial

2010-09-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

Lols

Eigenharp-- I want I want I WANT!!!

2010-09-10T15:44:00.000-07:00

Ohhh, how I want to play with one of these. I'll just have to start saving or have a magical windfall of money!

I just realized how long it's been since I wrote. My bad. :(

Real Power

2010-08-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

Saint John Chrysostom wrote this about the power of prayer:

"Prayer is an all-efficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by the clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother of a thousand blessings. . . . The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire, it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed anarchy to rest; extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt."

via RZIM's Slice of Infinity

Bill and Ted's Excellent Inception

2010-07-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

I miss Bill and Ted style comedies, they're so re-watchable. Now all we have are the Hangover type. Why so serious?

OK! OK! I'll talk about Comic Con

2010-07-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

I really must say that I liked the convention center design a lot. This shot I took coming down the elevators is so sci-fi!

Honestly I think I'll break up my "coverage" a bit since it would be an unnecessarily long post. I don't have as many pictures as I thought I did. I'm pretty sure it's because my camera sucks. It has this problem reading the memory card. Talk about a MAJOR flaw.

Comic Con grew on me. Let's just say that early on the first day I could hardly wait to go home, and by the end of Saturday I was almost wishing that I had booked another night. Next year I'm sure.

I didn't know what to expect from Comic Con. Last year I went to AnimeExpo in LA and felt really really out of place, but I'm guessing it was mostly because I don't know Anime. I'm at least conversant in Superheroes. There weren't as many costumes as I was expecting. I was told that in previous years there were more, but that's cool. I don't need to see too many out of shape people in spandex anyway.

This guy was freaking cool though!

The "Floor", where all the booths are, was HUUUGE! And crowded. Waaay too crowded for the likes of me. The side of the hall that had all the major media players was of course more crowded than the other end of the hall because that's where all the cool stuff was. I did manage to accidentally catch a glimpse of the True Blood cast as I was walking by the WB booth. I like the show a lot, but I'm not about to stand in line for a couple of hours or more to get them to sign a shirt. Ugh. In fact I refused to stand in any line, which meant that I didn't get much swag, but I'd throw most of it away anyway.

I spent more of my time upstairs in the conference rooms listening to random panels. I got to listen to Charlaine Harris (Author of the Sookie Stackhouse Series, aka True Blood). She was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. And I attended a watercolor Master Session with Jill Thompson (my pictures of which are gone. &*$%# camera).

What I found most interesting was just observing the crowd and the different types of people. I really liked going to panels where I knew none of the "famous" people and just trying to see what the difference in attitude and purpose between them and their fans.

Fandom confuses me. How do fans see the object of their obsession and how does the receiving end see their work? What is it that allows one person to become successful in their chosen medium and another a wanna be? As someone in the middle with the potential to either fall back into wanna-be land or over to the blessed few succeed and shape culture it fascinates me. I just want to be able to understand both sides. I guess it's the writer in me.

Enough for now. Tomorrow I'll talk about how awesome it is to know Goofy. :P

Dark Matter & Dark Energy

2010-07-27T09:07:00.000-07:00

Ok. But the bear argument can just as easily be used for a proof of God. And the whole invisible multiple universes having gravity that permeate the membrane of our universe thing, though cool, sounds pretty ridiculous given the fact (and it is fact that this point) that we have no "evidence" of them. Wait what? You mean that athiests are espousing theories as proof that there is no God for which there is no evidence?

There's a lesson here. Can you figure it out?

This isn't to say that I think the theories are wrong, but it does seem to me to be just a tad hypocritical. And even should they prove multiple universes, it in no way disproves a maker because everything must have a source. Isn't that one of those fundamental laws of physics? And what about that whole, "the simplest explanation" thing?

Just saying.

Tomorrow I'll talk Comic Con, but first a message from our sponsors.

2010-07-25T20:50:00.000-07:00

t-shirt

2010-07-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

I was going to try and be all clever like I always am, but I'm quite bored of being vague and slightly cryptic all the time.

I painted a Compass Rose on a t-shirt I've had lying around for 2 years.

Why?

I'm going to Comic Con and I like playing games with time...sort of.

I was going to write Where is Mercator? on it but I decided not to. Mostly because I ran out of time.

To a few this will make sense, to the future it will make more sense. It's kind of like seeding the future with cool intentional Easter eggs.

Ugh too tiered to think. Have to get up early.

See you on the flip side.

"earthwork" movie trailer

2010-07-09T20:49:00.000-07:00

read about this in the kc star. local film maker i think. looks great. the actor is fantastic, i just saw him in "winter's bone".

wait...

2010-07-07T21:12:00.000-07:00

Its been how long since my last post?

No wonder I've only had 7 visits in the last month. lol. I guess I should laugh, it surely isn't worth crying over. Now, if that number is the same in say 3 months, THEN I'll start freaking out, cuz I'm screwed.

I'm going to have to get this ball rolling...

Atheists Don't Have No Songs-Steve Martin

2010-06-28T10:03:00.000-07:00

Poetry as a Leap Outside the Self

2010-06-21T15:33:00.000-07:00

Test Your Awareness : Whodunnit?

2010-06-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

Superman+ Organ= AWESOME!

2010-06-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know what place this piece of music holds in my heart and my history.

Superman forever.

rut

2010-06-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm stuck in a rut that I just can't seem to get out of and honestly I'm sure if I'm supposed to yet.

In the last, oh, two months or so I've gone into total reclusive loner mode. Usually I try and avoid this because my social skills usually deteriorate or I just get stuck in a loop and I see it as lazy. At least when I went into these modes and I was in school I had class to force me out, but now all I have is Church and the SCA and the SCA isn't that convincing of an argument. Unless I have a reason to get out I just don't. In past instances I had nothing to do but goof around when I was in isolation mode, but this time I've got plenty to do and I've been busy both creatively and intellectually. Unfortunately, I've not been busy enough on the creative side and I'm feeling a bit under the gun, no one's placed me there but myself but the pressure is there none the less. For some strange reason I find being creative for a concrete purpose very stressful. I'm guessing this is mostly because in school when I was creative it was for fun only. There was no benefit other than the pleasure of what I was doing and that mentality still sticks in my mind and will take time to dislodge. I really don't consider myself to be very good at drawing and the time it takes for me to do it well and the effort involved is grating...unless I get on a roll and then days go by and I don't even notice it. It's just strange to me and I don't understand it and I have a drive to understand everything I possibly can. I remember now why I tried to rid myself of my perfectionist nature. It's just too stressful and I really don't like stress.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere in particular. I'm just not going to Fighter Practice...again. I just can't do it right now though I want to. My absence in the SCA has been bothering me for a long time. I just can't quite figure out what's holding me back from committing as deeply as I had intended and wanted. I'm thinking that it's just this transitional phase that I'm going through. I just can't justify the time and effort the endeavor takes at the moment, no matter how much I love it. Perhaps it is avoidance or something. But the aspect that bothers me the most is my lack of commitment and steadfastness, two things that used to be so easy just aren't anymore. That and my seeming lack of discipline in certain areas of my life.

It just seems that I'm being rebuilt slowly from the inside out, which I've asked for continually. I just hoped it wouldn't be so painfully slow. But everything in time, there's much ground to cover between where I am and where I'm headed.

It's daunting to be looking at the mountain from the outskirts of the foothills. But exciting too.

The New Western Creed

2010-06-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

Creed

We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin.
We believe everything is OK
as long as you don't hurt anyone,
to the best of your definition of hurt,
and to the best of your knowledge.

We believe in sex before during
and after marriage.
We believe in the therapy of sin.
We believe that adultery is fun.
We believe that sodomy's OK
We believe that taboos are taboo.

We believe that everything's getting better
despite evidence to the contrary.
The evidence must be investigated.
You can prove anything with evidence.

We believe there's something in horoscopes,
UFO's and bent spoons;
Jesus was a good man just like Buddha
Mohammed and ourselves.
He was a good moral teacher although we think
his good morals were bad.

We believe that all religions are basically the same,
at least the one that we read was.
They all believe in love and goodness.
They only differ on matters of
creation sin heaven hell God and salvation.

We believe that after death comes The Nothing
because when you ask the dead what happens
they say Nothing.
If death is not the end, if the dead have lied,
then it's compulsory heaven for all
excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin and Genghis Khan.

We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What's selected is average.
What's average is normal.
What's normal is good.

We believe in total disarmament.
We believe there are direct links between
warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their guns into tractors
and the Russians would be sure to follow.

We believe that man is essentially good.
It's only his behaviour that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.

We believe that each man must find the truth
that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust. History will alter.
We believe that there is no absolute truth
excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth.

We believe in the rejection of creeds.

-Steve Turner

Postscript also written by Turner, as heard on a Ravi Zacharias mp3.If chance be the father of all flesh,disaster is his rainbow in the sky.And when you hear "State of emergency,sniper kills ten, troops on a rampage, youths go looting, bomb blasts school,"it is but the sound of man worshiping his maker."

Video Video Video

2010-06-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Too many videos. But. But. But. They're soo goooood!

So what shall I post? Um. Well I go home in 9 days, and its been 6 months, which is way way way too long to be stuck in LA let me tell you!

I'm supposed to be working on illustrations for Mercator, but I'm finding it exceptionally hard to convince myself that my drawing won't suck majorly. Maybe I'll draw today or maybe I'll just finish the stool I've been working on. Once it's done I'll post some photos of the couple of projects I've been working on.

BP Spills Coffee

2010-06-11T16:22:00.000-07:00

Eleanor Powell and Fred Astaire

2010-06-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

Best of the best of the best.

Rise

2010-06-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions.

Lamb no longer. Hear me roar.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

2010-05-31T13:21:00.000-07:00

Big Changes

2010-05-22T19:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything for a while. I suppose it's because I've been undergoing a major life change which includes a nearly complete revision of how I view myself and the world. It's been a long time coming, but I'm historically not good at change. I throw myself into new situations, but it's only because it's been led by God or it's necessary for a goal. I choose a way of life/thinking/goals and I stick to them until it becomes impossible for me to continue. It's hard to describe. I've been locked into a fairly secular/scientific/logic world view since middle school. It's the same mentality that led me to the Academy, and the Academy was the first and fatal blow to that side of me which I so carefully and determinedly crafted. It never fit. Ever. But I made it work much to my own degradation.

I've had to give it a whole lot of thought lately. It became increasingly clear in the past year that the strategy that I was using to achieve the goal I felt God set before me just didn't fit me. But I'm stubborn and persistent. I hate to be defeated by something I know that I'm both strong enough and talented enough to conquer. But it wasn't to be. It's not my path. I've tried to go about this art's thing responsibly, the only way I know how. Form a plan and put it into action. I'm a methodical person. There's no doubt about it. And my God given calling (as it's been increasingly and slowly more and more clear since the Academy) is in fact the arts. Now by the end of high school I'd given up the notion that a life in the arts was a viable or responsible thing for someone who is smart enough to excel in the respectable sciences, though I have never had much of a love for science. I have a great love of learning, but I'm not suited for a life in the higher ranks of science where it seems to be so clinically stale. But in Geology I found the perfect compromise, but it still didn't fit.

In all honesty neither the scientific nor the artistic world fits me very well. I'm just I suppose an exceedingly strange creature that fuses logic and the arts together. And I am most happy when both sides are working in conjunction, like they were while I studied Theatre. The program at WJ was perfect for me in it melding of all the aspects of technical and performance theatre.

I only wish I hadn't tried for so long and so hard to cut my creative/artistic side out. It stems from not being much encouraged in school in these aspects while those whom I thought clearly possessed less talent and potential were lauded. But this is most likely an exaggeration of the truth, but this is how I felt. At least intellectually I could dominate and so that's what I pursued.

But I guess I still haven't revealed my new direction. To many it probably won't seem like such a change, but to me it's sort of like being transformed from an aardvark to a lion. And the only reason I'm even willing to totally embrace this transformation is because I'm submitting myself to God. You either get this or you don't. It's soo much different than just the predominately intellectual faith that I've lived with for so long. Its a difficult but wondrous thing to forsake the world for God. And God gave me Mercator, who has been my constant companion since coming to LA, and would not exist without my time here. But film? I really hate the industry. Really. Being on set was neat for awhile but I am absolutely not suited for that ridiculous lifestyle. And I have neither the time nor the patience to pursue it any longer. I know I'm not special, but if film direction is in my future, this is not the avenue that I am to take.

So, for the moment Mercator is my only mission. I've got to get him ready for the world by November. I'm terrified. Really. I'm not ready to go public, but I'm not to hide any longer and I know that I'll be ready at exactly the right time and not before. Its an incredibly exciting time for me right now, and extremely hard. I have very little self-confidence when it comes to my own artistic work or ability and I feel slightly guilty that I should be chosen for such a profession when I never really sought it out or gave it as much effort as those whose entire lives have revolved around trying to achieve it. In this I sound overly confident in my success, but what God promises he delivers. And he's promised to catch me in this leap. I'm not saying Mercator is the next Harry, but he won't fail. Of this I am assured and it is enough.

Brontë Sisters Power Dolls

2010-05-11T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lol. I would have actually read them if this had been real. :)

Walk on water

2010-05-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

Dracula's Lament

2010-05-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

Be Creative

2010-05-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

For those of us tired of the typical insult, the perfect solution!

Dragons are Pure Awesome

2010-04-30T12:16:00.000-07:00

When I was at Disneyland a couple of days ago I impulsively bought Pete's Dragon.
I am trying to learn which ones to follow because its the Holy Spirit and not my own. It's hard to tell the difference if you're not really in step with God.

Pete's Dragons just so happens to be one of my all time favorite movies that I had practically forgotten about. There is nothing in it that I don't love. As with all my favorite movies I must have watched it a thousand times driving my mom crazy.

Elliot is my favorite dragon. Why? Because he's pure through and through. He exists to seek and to save.

Sound familiar?

I was absolutely floored to realize that Elliot could easily be one of the best examples of the Holy Spirit in movies that I know of.

At first no one can see him but Pete, but they can see where he's been by the what he leaves behind. But even though his footprints are all over the town they don't believe he exists, then that disbelief turns to fear. They blame the Dragon for the shifting of the fishing shoals and Nora (the Lighthouse keeper) doesn't believe Pete when he says that Elliot has found her supposedly dead fiance. The town's fear turns to violence against Pete and Elliot.

Why?

They don't have the eyes to see and they misunderstand who Elliot is no matter what Pete says. From the beginning it is evident that Pete and Elliot are inseparable best friends. Elliot protects, guides, and provides for Pete very much like the Holy Spirit will guide, protect, and embolden us who allow God to become our best friend and every pleasure.

By the end all have seen and believe.

I just love everything about this movie, its just a joyful, funny, music filled romp.

I love how God lets us see with new eyes what once we loved as children and still delight in it.

2010-04-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

James 3:17-18

2010-04-27T22:56:00.001-07:00

That dern Volcano

2010-04-27T19:58:00.001-07:00

[Source: Online Schools for Gadling.com]

Transformer

2010-04-26T19:32:00.001-07:00

Spring Cleaning

2010-04-22T18:28:00.000-07:00

I just finished reorganizing and cleaning my entire room closet and all. The only thing that didn't move was my desk. Everything else is flipped. I also got a some privacy cling things for my window so that I can just leave my blinds up making my room lighter. One of the window things has a stained glass pattern that is actually textured making it look fairly real if you ignore the fact that it doesn't cover all of my window. Given how much time I spend in my room the whole thing was very needed. My room actually looks bigger now.

NICE.

What just hit me though is the process of rearranging. Before I started my room was a mess, first thing I had to do was make it more messy to organize before I could move anything. So my room went from being messy to natural disaster for the last couple of days, but the entire time I was working steadily toward this new arrangement. I was struck by the thought that perhaps God has to do the same thing when he wants to take us from one stage of life to another. At first everything just keeps getting messier as things are moved around, but then as you start putting things in their new places the mess subsides finally you have a new room that shows no indication of the disaster it was just before or the room it had been. Maybe this is how God makes big changes in us, it has to get a little messy before it comes together on the other side.

I'm certainly hoping that this is the case for me, I'm just praying that I'm in the stage where things are starting to get cleaned up rather than more messy...

I guess that's my attempt to have a deep thought tonight.

Broad Observation

2010-04-18T23:52:00.000-07:00

All the things that the Bible tell me are good or bad for me all make sense at their root, even if they don't at the surface. Things that society/government/school/establishment tell are good or bad often don't hold up under intense investigation of roots and consequences unless they correlate directly with Biblical teaching.

Why is it that we are more inclined to give society/government/school/establishment more credence than the Bible? One has been around much longer than the other. One has weathered every attack upon it from without and within and always come out stronger in the end.

But people don't see this.

Why?

Is it because it is so hard to see, or is it that they have never actually looked beyond what culture tells them?

It seems the vast majority of the world spends their lives blind, even those who pride themselves on their intellect have blind spots if even they can see at all. Christians and heathen thinkers alike have these blind spots. The advantage of the Christian thinker is they have God to see for them when they cannot see themselves. It is then that they realize that any sight they ever had was God's.

That and as impressive as we are as a species the amount of a certain type of intellect and mind are required to even want to pull back the veil we all see the world through, because what we see on the other side is so massively complex that even the best and brightest minds can only begin to comprehend it.

There is always another black box. Something that doesn't fit. As far as we have come in science and philosophy those who practice them at their highest levels balk at how little we still know.

The mere claim that "science disproves God" is ridiculous. Science has proven nothing of the sort! There is no science in which knowledge is absolute. I know of no science that is dead, only evolved. Astrology laid the foundations of astronomy. Just because we figured out the sun wasn't pulled across the sky by a chariot does not disprove a creator of the universe. (It does not stop there but I am unless asked.)

The only way that science could ever disprove God is... well science in it's current practice could never do such a thing. Science only covers the physical world which we can measure by physical means. Even if we could see to the very point of creation would anyone really expect to see some huge dude, or any thing at all? The question remains, "Where did it ALL come from?"

We exist.

How?

But more importantly WHY?

Hmmm Tasty

2010-04-18T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have never wanted to learn to cook more in my entire life!

2010-04-17T19:52:00.001-07:00

But the Lord is with me as a dread warrior;
therefore my persecutors will stumble;
they will not overcome me.
They will be greatly shamed,
for they will not succeed.
Their eternal dishonor
will never be forgotten.
—Jeremiah 20:11

I hate the Internet

2010-04-17T17:07:00.000-07:00

I hate the internet, but I spend a huge amount of time here. Why? Because it is useful. But unfortunately I must hang out in the parts of the internet which are least suited to me. It just seems like the most relevant social spaces on the interwebs are loudly dominated by those whose basic views of reality are almost opposite of my own. I must just have an abrasive writing style or something.

Hated on the web, loved in life. Rather it be that way than the other way around.

I must Apologize

2010-04-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

I don't write here much at the moment. Reasons being that I just don't have anything pressing to say. Or at least I haven't in a while.

Mercator is still sorta on hold, but that'll change soon. I have some major world building to do even for the second book.

Still no work. But I really should try harder, i.e. really try at all. I'm not sure checking craigslist 3x a day counts as trying. I've got two new resources that I haven't utilized yet.

I'm feeling drawn back to school for two reasons. One being Mercator/RTE requires a background in church history and theology that I don't have yet. The other being that I feel pulled toward apologetics which is what Mercator really is. We need some major apologists in the Film world, I know of none of the caliber that are needed to really make an impact on my jaded generation. Here am I, send me. I'm rather sure that this is the reason I'm in CA. I feel I need to stay in LA, though it may just be because my world is here now, most of my friends and the SCA community that I've become a part of. I'm tiered of moving, it's been nice to live in one place for more than a year and I'd like to stay. I still can't say I love the city, but I love the people. In reality it'll be a year before any move or schooling would start so I don't need to stress right now. Just be ready and explore my options. In the mean time I'll keep pursuing Script Supervising. I really hope I'll start making some money soon, the end of my funds is approaching too near for comfort.

That's all, just a check in.

I'll keep in touch. :P

Still Alive

2010-03-30T10:25:00.001-07:00

Song from the end of Portal with cool animation.

Avatar 2 Trailer (Exclusive)

2010-03-24T10:24:00.001-07:00

I'm in a Disney state of mind...

2010-03-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking...

So, Pirates + Awesome = Vikings.

Vikings + Pirates of the Caribbean = O.o Awesome

Just think about it...

Tim Burton's Secret Formula

2010-03-19T20:30:00.001-07:00

So True!!!

Mmmmm Cake

2010-03-16T19:19:00.000-07:00

And THIS is how you make it. I must Has.

This is sooo cool!

2010-03-16T09:41:00.001-07:00

I love this movie!!!! I gotta go to D-land this week. :P

This Too Shall Pass

2010-03-04T09:09:00.001-08:00

pure Awesome

Be Salt

2010-03-01T18:09:00.001-08:00

Just a reminder to add a little flavor to the world.

Something I'm really good at

2010-02-25T12:00:00.000-08:00

Silence...

Not really. If you know me you know that I can be quite long winded, but when it comes to my blog I'm pretty good at silence.

Life, is life, is life. Isn't it? Still on the hunt for a job. Sorta, technically. I'm doing it, but I don't want to. Does that count? I have a really really hard time picking up the phone and making the first move on finding a job, which is something I've always had a problem with and it's not getting better. Once I'm on the phone I'm fine, but picking it up doesn't happen nearly often enough to get me hired. I have worked 2 jobs this month, both 2 days and no pay, but it ended my looong streak of nothing. Which is good. I'm reluctant, I'm not all that fond of what I do, its wearing and I've never been one who likes to take notes, but I am very good at it and it is a doorway. I'm hoping that I'll like it much much more once I'm on a longer, professional shoot, one where I can really get to know my co-workers and I enjoy my time on set because I am among people I enjoy being around. Plus being paid would really help my motivation to get up in the morning and clock a 12-14 hr day.

Other than that I really am up to nothing much. It's lent, it's only the second year in my life (last year was first) that I've observed it, but it's here to stay. This year I've even joined a small group, I just hope I go. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions anymore, because I have no real reason to follow them, but I DO like the lent thing, it has weight behind it. If I fail to live up to my promise then I answer to God, who is much more impressive than my puny conscience. This year I've given up Soda, video games, and intoxicants. I say intoxicants because if I say booze, I might try something else that will technically not count, and I don't want to mess with that. I am in California after all. I'm also trying to use this time to clean up my eating habits, be more faithful to my workout routine, and get my lazy ass a job. Ambitious as always. Thank God for Sundays, quite literally.

Oh, and last week some *****er***er broke into my car and stole the bag that had all my Script Supervising gear in it, my ipod, and my oakley sunglasses that Mama gave me in High School. $1000 not covered by insurance (because we all know those greedy **cks don't care). I know it's not the right thing to say, but I hope the bastard who broke my window gets castrated, we don't need any more like him on the street. God can forgive him all he wants, and I do too, as long as I get to break his nose.

That's my life in a nutshell.

Silence broken.

Epic Super Mario Land Rap

2010-02-09T14:32:00.001-08:00

Yeah, I know you're not interested, but it rocks my socks off.

When The Saints Go Marching In

2010-02-08T11:40:00.001-08:00

They won by the way. :P

Ha!

2010-02-04T10:51:00.002-08:00

Apparently my blog has become "Jenny's youtube veiwing history." Lol.

No more! Things are going to change around this joint starting yesterday! And... they did. Yesterday I worked for the first time in 7 months. Happy Day! :) had to get up at 4:30am and drive an hour though. Plus I've been sick since last Sunday.

But at least the drought is easing.

Now if you don't mind, I need to lie down for a bit.

Embrace Life

2010-02-04T10:51:00.001-08:00

It's beautiful. Imagine making more of an impact with a minute and a half than with a 3 hour long CGI orgy...

!!!! !!!!

2010-02-02T10:23:00.001-08:00

I MUST see this movie!!!

Resolution

2010-01-30T14:44:00.001-08:00

I haven't really made any resolutions for this year. Luckily there's a site to help me. :)

How To Report The News

2010-01-29T22:42:00.001-08:00

Happens every time.

2010-01-25T09:29:00.000-08:00

Never thought about the downside to the whole thing...

I Wanna Do This!!!

2010-01-19T10:20:00.001-08:00

Classy...

How about a leisurely drive through Paris?

2010-01-16T10:17:00.001-08:00

C´etait un rendezvous - Claude Lelouch 1976

Adventures in La La Land in the Year 2010

2010-01-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

I guess I have to say that I'm glad to be out of the cold and back in the California sun. It was nice to be home for such a long time, but I must admit that December wasn't the greatest month I've ever had. It was the closing of an era.

I finished Mercator on 01-01-10, which seems appropriate and a good way to start a new year and a new decade.

Being back seems like another new start, let's hope that I don't botch this one too. But third time's a charm. I guess it's the third time.

Here's hoping that 2010 is a year of growth, health, and wholeness mentally, physically, and spiritually.

United State of Pop 2009

2009-12-29T07:42:00.001-08:00

Now I don't have to listen to all those songs in full.
Who knew that the recording industry only knows how to write songs in one key.

Upular

2009-12-26T21:33:00.001-08:00

Catch the Wind

2009-12-22T19:36:00.000-08:00

My grandmother, Mama, died last Tuesday morning. From elementary school through most of my college years I stayed with her about once a week. Through high school, unless I had a basketball game or band thing, I stayed at her house on Friday nights. When everyone else partied, or whatever you're supposed to do on Fridays, I went to Mama's ate junk food and watched TV. It was my escape every week. She used to make me a huge plate of spaghetti and garlic toast for supper, sometimes we'd splurge and have pizza. Or if she needed supplies we'd go over a town to Wal-Mart, I'd get a $5 toy and we'd go to Applebee's where I'd get the double cheeseburger and a cookie shake. Mama usually had the quesadillas, probably the reason I like them now. When I graduated high school she took me and my cousins on a cruise to Bermuda it was most awesome I'd do it again in a heartbeat. The first time I remember her crying is when I left for the Naval Academy after high school, and then again when I came back. While I was at Jewell before transferring to Wheaton I resumed my weekend stays at her house. After I graduated from Wheaton and went back to get another degree at Jewell I stayed with Mama Sunday nights as her caregiver, at that point she had full-time live in help. That continued until I moved to LA little more than a year ago. It was during that return to Jewell and staying with Mama that I started singing and playing my guitar regularly. Every private concert ended with Jolene, even the ones this last month with her in the hospital. She liked to hear me play and I loved playing for her. I'll never have a more captive audience. Or one more prone to be lulled asleep by my music.

I played at her funeral on Saturday. I would have liked to sing Jolene, but I didn't think it would be appropriate. I played Catch the Wind instead. My two cousins payed their tribute first in words, beautiful, appropriate words, then I played. I thought I'd make it through, but I got to the 3rd verse and broke down. I started thinking about the lyrics, "When the rain has hung the leaves with tears I want you near to kill my fears to help me leave all my blues away," and couldn't do it. I did manage to recite most of the rest, "Standing in your heart is where I want to be, I long to be..." But I couldn't finish it. Thankfully my mom, who was sitting at the piano, finished, "Ah, but I might as well try and catch the wind."

It'll be a long time before I see my Mama again. But she's dancing and laughing and singing at the feast. I've never heard Mama sing, I used to sit next to her in church and she'd just read the hymns without singing. I can hardly wait to hear her sing.

I love you Mama. I'll miss singing for you.

Searching for Something?

2009-12-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

The bestest most awesome search engine ever. Proof positive that there are little people living in a series of tubes we call the internets.

The Arts

2009-12-13T08:37:00.000-08:00

I wonder how any Christian could argue against the relevance and importance of the arts...

For surely the Bible itself is art. Isn't it the definitive collection of God inspired/revealed poetry, stories, and song?

Art is the human mind trying to capture the seen and unseen beauty and truth of the world. All true art is inspired at its core, and where does this inspiration come from but ultimately from God whether or not the artist recognizes the source.

I'm just glad I'm not alone on this stance. The good people at Ravi Zacharias agree and are turning their attention toward the arts.

Road to a Higher Degree

2009-12-08T13:59:00.000-08:00

I fully expect to someday obtain a PHud using only the most rigorous and interesting methods available...or whichever gets the job done faster.
:P

Home and Books

2009-12-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

In the last week or so I've been trying to catch up with my reading. I started off with one of my all-time favorites. When I read My Side of the Mountain in 6th grade I was absolutely convinced that I wanted to do the same thing. I quickly found out though, that outdoorsyness is not my strong suit. We went camping in the mountains for a week and the whole time I replayed movies in my head and wished for Dr. Pepper. SCA camping is much much more up my ally.

I also read Percy Jackson #2, which I really enjoyed. I've changed my mind on the series. I still have some qualms but I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the series as soon as I can find them in the Library, I'm thinking I'll have to order it in. Read Ella Enchanted and it was super awesome, I must say I liked it better than the movie, but I enjoyed the movie in its own right. On the not kiddie side I read the latest Sookie Stackhouse, which is by far my favorite vampire book series. *pssst* Sookie has a personality and so do the vampires. That's why. In my queue is The Ranger's Apprentice, Artimis Fowl, and the graphic novel version of Pendragon (I tried the book and hated it enough to stop reading almost immediately).

My grandma is still in the hospital, but she's stable and pretty close to being back where she was before all this drama. Who knows how long she'll last. Other than that, I've been hanging out with friends and ferrying my other grandma back and forth for her cataract surgeries.

Exciting, I know. The only thing I haven't been doing that I should is....MERCATOR! But I will strive valiantly to finish him in the next 3 days. Probably. :P

'Sup?

2009-11-29T09:53:00.000-08:00

Obviously haven't felt the need to post for a while. Came home to Missouri earlier than expected because my grandmother was in ICU. She's doing better and not in ICU at the moment. We'll see. I'm glad that I got to come home in time for Thanksgiving, but unfortunately I seem to have picked up a bug on the way home. Laying in bed today drinking tea hoping that whatever this is is gone by Tuesday.

Being sick sucks.

Yosemite

2009-11-17T22:38:00.000-08:00

Yosemite National Park is absolutely gorgeous. It makes even my poor photography skills and makes my pics look good. We stayed in a private cabin on actual park land with a perfect view looking down the valley to Half Dome. Hiking the trails was very much like being in my own personal fantasy world. It was amazing. I'm hard pressed to think of anywhere else that I've been that quite lives up to it's beauty. I hope to return someday. Sooner than later.

Can't stop Laughing

2009-11-05T12:38:00.000-08:00

see more Lol Celebs

see more Lol Celebs

see more Lol Celebs

Oh WOW

2009-11-02T02:36:00.000-08:00

This is most definitely worth watching.

Behold the latent power of Cupid and the short film.

:)

Take a sad song and make it better...

2009-11-01T08:36:00.001-08:00

Synecdoche

2009-10-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

A great little comic about how each of the people we meet on the street are connected to us even across great distances of time and space.

Simple Life

2009-10-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

I think the Amish have quite a few things right.

More and more I find moving out to my grandparents' farm and eeking out a life there more appealing. I know that I wouldn't be satisfied though. Someday I'd like to be able to spend several months a year up there...

So cool

2009-10-29T23:22:00.001-07:00

I want one of these that says Mercator, She Wrote. It'll be so cool. Only the coolest of the cool will get it.

:)

Forward Ho!

2009-10-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Something happened, I don't know how, but sometime around June I went into full retreat mode. I haven't done that since leaving the Academy and I don't know why I did this time. I was on a roll. 4 scripty jobs in a row then nothing. A couple of bites, but that's all. I had hoped that going home would shake me out of it, I came back ready, or so I thought, and fell into the same pattern. I haven't been completely idle. I've nearly finished Mercator (1 chapter to rewrite), and I have been looking for a job, I just haven't been as tenacious as I need to be. It isn't like me to remain idle for so long, and now its a deep rut. That brings an image from The Berenstain Bears of Papa pushing a wheelbarrow down the front path in a rut and demonstrating to the kids how difficult it was to get the wheelbarrow out. It was a lesson on bad habits and how hard it is to break them. I've been trying to get out of the rut but I'm not exactly sure how, but I'm not giving up. I don't give up, not without giving it all I've got. It's a time for reflection, seeking, changing habits, and pursuing writing. There is a purpose to this long doldrum and I don't want to waste it. Time is something I've wasted too much of already in my 20's. Hopefully I'll emerge from this time a better person with something to show for all this time...

Gymnopédie No.1

2009-10-27T19:40:00.001-07:00

Fall

2009-10-27T19:28:00.001-07:00

Its Tuesday and it's windy. I guess they call 'em the Santa Ana winds or something like that.

It feels very much like fall. The wind has knocked leaves off of the trees, the air was cool, and many houses have their Halloween decorations out.

Earlier I was listening to Gymnopedie No. 1 by Satie and the wind while drinking Constant Comment Tea. It was awesome. I felt like I should be in a Leonard Cohen song.

Good day, I must say.

The next step

2009-10-25T22:22:00.001-07:00

see more dog and puppy pictures

Wish

2009-10-24T13:08:00.001-07:00

see more Lol Celebs

Brown... like that stuff that isn't dirt and smells

2009-10-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

Dan Brown.

The single most...er...

The absolute pentacle of...um...

Dan Brown has a way with words. It takes a certain something to make me want to throw a book across the room every paragraph and he certainly has that something in abundance.

The final straw...

2009-10-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

To whoever is paid to care,

Several others and I just received a ticket for parking legally. The citation says that I have parked in a no parking zone for street cleaning. Except today Tuesday and is street cleaning on the opposite side of the street as clearly indicated by the signs on both sides of the street. What is strange to me is that all the cars on the street are parked legally, meaning that there are no cars parked on the side of the street that it would actually be illegal to park. I have included pictures taken at 9:30am of both sides of the street and their respective signs. This does not give me confidence in the employee who ticketed at least 4 cars in a row and failed to notice that there were no cars on the opposite side of the street and wonder why so many people failed to note the proper no parking sign. I would very much appreciate the fine being lifted, for I will not be paying it. You might also consider lifting all the other fines issued by Officer --- on Tuesday October 20, 2009 between 8-10am on ----. I sincerely hope that Officer ---- will be informed of his mistake and that they will be more careful in the future so that this will not happen again to myself or others.

Thanks for trying yet again to steal my money.

Go eff yourself,
Me

Mine

2009-10-17T09:29:00.001-07:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Opportunity

2009-10-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

There is a Showbiz Expo today down at the LA Convention Center. The guy I learned Script Supervising has a booth and is encouraging all his recent students to come down and hang out at the booth for a while. He gets people hanging around his booth creating more interest and we get the chance to meet industry people. Hopefully. Supposedly people come by the booth looking for Script Supervisors not training so there's an off chance that I may score an interview or two or none today. It's worth the effort to go down there at least.

:)

Legend of the Seeker

2009-10-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

When I saw the billboards for the series last year I thought for sure that it was going to be terrible, unwatchable, and completely hoaky to the nth degree. I've read part of the book series that the TV series is based off of and I was afraid that it wouldn't adapt well. I'm not a hard core fan so I'm not all that disturbed by the differences between the two. I've never had much of a problem with the changes made from book to film, I come at it from the understanding that it is necessary to adapt stories between the two. I know the hardcore fans cannot stomach the changes and cannot see the merits. Granted, sometimes the adaptations are done poorly and lose completely core concepts of the original and the loathing of these adaptations is completely merited. But sometimes the changes reinvigorate the original instead of rotely copying it.

As adaptations go I am thoroughly enjoying Legend of the Seeker. Its great to see a high fantasy done well on film. Its hard for me to believe a major network took such a risk.

My favorite part is the portrayal of strong women. Kahlan the leading female is equally as powerful as the leading man. She fights with two daggers, or whatever she can get from the enemy and she fights just as well as the guy with the magic sword without the aid of magic. It's pretty awesome.

Freak Out Week

2009-10-13T09:06:00.003-07:00

In six days I turn, ugh, twenty-seven. I thought twenty-five was bad. This is most definitely worse. Only because of the 27 year curse that took Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Curt Cobain, etc. I can't believe that the last 9 years have happened so fast, especially the last four. They're a blur. I just keep thinking that my life is passing me by and I'm not living it, but I know that's not entirely true. Most of my life is still ahead of me, the most productive years, and probably the most fun and fulfilling years. I should be excited, and I am, I really am. I'm also nervous. There is a lot to do and the time for slacking is behind me. I guess the thing that bothers me most is the total absence of a certain side of my life that most people have down by now. The whole love and relationships thing. It's something that once upon a time I gave quite a bit of thought to but never really pursued, I just keep hoping that someday it will fall into place, I'm not impatient and I'm comfortable with where I am. But like Sally said, "...and I'm going to be 40!" Harry,"Not for another (13 years)." Sally,"I know, but its OUT there!" Le sigh. Screw it, let it unfold as God intends, no use pining or moping. Besides next Monday I get to go to Disneyland for FREE!

Anachronism

2009-10-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

I love it.

Watching A Knights Tale remembering why I came out here in the first place and why I love the SCA.

I have recently discovered that my taste in movies tends to lend itself more toward pure entertainment than any sort of "message." If a film can deliver both like Slumdog Millionaire then we've reached perfection.

Love that Film thing

2009-10-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been rather lackluster about just about everything. I think that perhaps I have discovered the root of this sad state of affairs to be two things...

1. job hunting, not doing so hot
2. not enough movies. MOVIES, not documentaries.

Cure?
1. I need to watch more movies (old faves) and remember why I'm out here in the first place. A little celluloid encouragement.
2. Rearrange my room somehow. Best thing to do when slumps strike.

But first?

WAR!!!!!

I need to get the crap beaten out of me for several days. :)

Red Cliff

2009-10-05T09:05:00.001-07:00

Paranoid

2009-10-03T00:27:00.000-07:00

Me? Paranoid?

Uh...yes.

The Knightly Queen

2009-10-02T14:56:00.001-07:00

Winter comes to Caid
dark storms froth her seas
warriors raise your horns of mead
in tribute to our fair Knightly Queen

No golden rose shall bloom as bright
No lady of chivalry display her might
No white sea bird soar to such height
as she who sups in Valhalla this night

A cheer to our lost Knightly Queen
Warriors raise your horns of mead
Hail! Hail! Odin's newest Valkyrie
Winter has come to Caid

New Layout

2009-10-01T11:31:00.001-07:00

I was tiered of being all dirty rock. Thought I'd go Steampunk in honor of the great month of October just like Tor.

Phase

2009-09-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's just a phase...

Inglorious

2009-09-28T23:01:00.000-07:00

Saw Q. Tarantino's latest...

Wasn't impressed. I was hoping I'd like it, but nope, I didn't.

I've heard it described as a Jewish revenge fantasy, and I have to say that I agree. I just didn't see the point of the thing. It went on forever seemed to meander all over the place. Playing fast and loose with history is one thing, entirely changing it with only the barest nod to the real thing is another. I didn't even like the action, if you can call it action, and usually that's what redeems Tarantino's movies for me. There was maybe one cool action scene and it lasted for all of 10 seconds. I can't say that I got bored in the movie, I came perilously close, but Q.T. never dwindled quite long enough to push it over to yawn territory. My biggest gripes were with the lack of any sort of growth in most of the characters and an over abundance of plot lines involving enough characters to make that growth nearly impossible. I have a fundamental objection to a revenge tale where the audience and the characters don't see the underlying evil of revenge even against the foulest of people, there's no point to the story. I like stories with point not just a series of cool bits and ideas. Of course I could be wrong and should I ever see the movie again I may see a lesson learned.

Honestly? Objectively? If we're only talking in pure cinematic qualifications, it was an extremely well done beautifully crafted movie. It's in the same boat as There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, both of which were wonderfully crafted but left me wholly unsatisfied when I left the theater.

Am I asking too much? Probably

Am I too old fashioned? Maybe

Ultimate verdict? Eh, it was a Tarantino movie. You either love or leave it.

The idea of Inglorious Basterds = Pure Awesome
The Actuality of Inclorous Basterds = Awwww I wanted this to be Awesome...

Need Feed?

2009-09-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

If you can't think of a status update just click the smiley until you find one

Doldrums

2009-09-17T12:24:00.000-07:00

Working on it. Looking for a scripty job. Editing Mercator. Trying to craft a stand-up comedy routine. And working on an idea for a script. Mainly trying to stay optimistic and be proactive.

I guess I'm not totally falling down on the job...

The wind just isn't blowing my way.

Color circles

2009-09-16T17:19:00.000-07:00

Just a little thing I ran across on my internet journeys. I thought it was pretty and fun. Just passing it along.

Okami

2009-09-07T17:20:00.000-07:00

This simple little flash based game is based on one of the most beautiful innovative games I have ever played.

The entire game is animated in a 3D Japanese calligraphy style that is ridiculously beautiful. Its as though you play in a painting. The storyline for the game follows the sun goddess Amaterasu on her quest to save the world. The coolest bit is that the battles are based on painting. You draw a certain shape on the screen and Amaterasu does her thing. It is freakishly cool.